LEATHER SHORTS : (West Coast residents: First part of post discusses tonight's episode of"Big Brother," but I really don't think it contains any surprisingspoilers that would ruin the experience of viewing the show when it airson California TV in about two hours.)OK, so this morning the word on "Big Brother" in the gossip news groupswas about Curtis intimating that Josh might be interested in foolingaround with the boys:So since Josh is probably the most adorable member of that darn group, Ituned in CBS at 8 to watch tonight's installment. The first thing I see isJosh in the women's bunkhouse, crawling into bed with one of the jeunefilles in the group. So CBS thought they'd throw out false hope about acute gay guy in the house to boost viewership, eh? OK, so it did get me towatch tonight's episode, endless commercials and all. But I spent a moreentertaining half-hour last weekend between flights at the Memphisairport.So I guess the subject of exotic dancers was supposed to be tonight'sforbidden topic? (And of the female gender, no less.) We got to see that"hidden camera" segment of what's-her-name surreptitiously telling abouther friend who worked as a stripper in Minneapolis, and not at just anysleazy dive but at one of the best clubs in the Twin Cities: "You have toreally be up there to get in."
LEATHER SHORTS : Hmmm...well, people, speaking of strip clubs, I landed in a gem of a placewhile I was in New Orleans. I don't know if you'd describe the clienteleas "really up there," but it was rather pricey, if that's your measure ofclass.I should have been suspicious from the beginning since it wasn't listed onthe maps in the gay mags and it wasn't located on the "gay end" of BourbonStreet. But it was the only strip club I saw in the French Quarter thatadvertised "topless and bottomless" male dancers. (Well, I think thetopless part applied more to the female dancers than the male dancers.)I hate to admit that I was naive enough to think I had found a place likeD.C.'s Wet -- have a few beers while watching a muscular guy walk acrossthe bar in the buff, and tipping him a couple of dollars whenever he letsme get a good view of his butt. (You know, basically the same stuff thathappens when I'm out on a regular date.)So after checking with the hawker at the door to make sure the covercharge and drink prices weren't exorbitant, the "host" came to escort meinto the club. He asked if I wanted to sit at a table or by the stage ashe started to lead me into the bar where the ladies were performing. Oh,no no no no no! I tugged on his sleeve and asked, "You *do* have maleperformers here, don't you?" So he led me to the back of the club, wheresome guy in leather shorts was twirling around a pole in the center of theroom.
LEATHER SHORTS : Certainly S.E.D. can help with this arithmetic- transforms are our forte!, Bill Sloman inimitably wrote:No, Aylward's Uncertainty Principle is what happens when you have pouredthe ale on the bench, sat on it with your leather shorts, let it drywhile you drink more ale, then stand up, and either:Do you confirm then that the ale is up to the King's standard or not?(;-)This is, or was, the Bavarian approach to quality control for beer. I'venot heard of it being applied in the U.K., where leather shorts aren'ta traditional item of apparel (except in certain areas of Soho).If the beer stuck your leather shorts to the bench, it's sugar contentwas high enough to let it pass the test.My history does not relate what conclusions were drawn if the alcoholcontent was high enough to render the inspector incapable of standing. Yes, it was also the official test in England, Moleskin trousers maybe.Well, Kevin should know for sure, but I understand that the bench testwas in fact used in England.
LEATHER SHORTS : Surly you mean Hieniken's Uncertainty Principle?. It usually occures after afew.Kevin Aylward , Warden of the Kings Ale - a currently free GUI xspice, unlimited component,mixed-mode Windows simulator with Schematic Capture and waveform display.Now With FFT'sOpinions of my employer are not necessarily indicative of my ownNot for me. My self-confidence increases exponentially with myblood-alcohol content. But then I mostly drink Bitberger at home (welive very close to the German border) and Bavaria at the (trim) hockeyclub. Heiniken *might* oc-cure the tendency, but I doubt it (and thatopinion is fuelled purely by coffee).Unfortunately, and being an Englishman in the U.S., whilst Guinness isavailable at a few places, Heineken is usually available. This is thepreferred choice, but it is certainly a better option then that Americanslop, usually referred to as "having sex in a canoe" i.e. fucking close towater.Kevin Aylward , Warden of the Kings Ale - a currently free GUI xspice, unlimited component,mixed-mode Windows simulator with Schematic Capture and waveform display.Now With FFT'sOpinions of my employer are not necessarily indicative of my own
LEATHER SHORTS : I offer the following quote which for some reason I found hilarious inthe context of JohnM's recent purchase of leather shorts..."..leather shorts have the advantage that one's not afraid of gettingthem dirty. On the contrary, they're ennobled by stains, like aStradivarius by age. In Germany nowdays all the young men are wearingleather shorts."The quote is from Adolf Hitler on the evening 17th February 1942 when hediscussed such other topics as Folk-Dancing, Books For Young People andBig Properties In Hungary with his intimates. D.(who has just discovered he has ennobled his mouse with a water-basedlubricant after checking his e-mail apres-sex and obviouslypre-bathroom)David, you do realise that now we will all interpret typos as stickyfingers.I think I would prefer this to incompetance and inability to proof-readon monitors. Anyway, my mouse is very clean now. I wiped it.Now I have this theory about lubricants because somehow they seem todisappear then they resurface (no joke intended there) and are allsticky again. Maybe its got something to do with moisture content in theair and temperature.
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